Phillip Calaway Application

[jamiebydesign]

Application for my created character, Phillip Calaway

NAME: Phillip Calaway

AGE: 37

GENDER: Male

PLACE OF RESIDENCE: Private Residence - Calaway Funeral Home

TYPE OF CAR: A black peugeot 406. Licence Plate: UNDRTKR

OCCUPATION/SKILLS: Phillip is an undertaker, he has only been in this line of work for two years. before that he was a Sheriff in another town a long way from Greenvale. His time spent as Sheriff means he is capable of using firearms. He also has excellent detective skills although they may have become a little rusty since he left the position of Sheriff.

APPEARANCE: Phillip stands 6ft 7inches tall and is well built. He used to exercise very regularly but has relaxed his exercise regime a bit since leaving his job as Sheriff. He has brown eyes and long dark brown hair.

PERSONALITY: Phillip is generally nice and friendly person, although he can be very stubborn at times. He is willing to help people and be friendly towards them but can also be quite critical of them at times. He is a man who likes to do things his way, and when he was sheriff he didn't do things strictly by the book. He has a strange personality quirk in that he often talks to himself and inanimate objects, including the fridge, the TV and the dead bodies he tends to. He has had this strange quirk since he was a teenager.

HISTORY: Born to George and Mary Calaway in Nottingham England he is an only child. The family moved to America when Phillip was 8 years old. His father served in the military and was a very powerful figure in Phillip's life. He would punish his son quite harshly when he broke one of his strict rules. Phillip has grown up to respect his father, but he is also more than a little resentful of his father's un-loving demeanour. His mother, Mary was the exact opposite. A quite, shy little woman, she was a florist for most of her life. She passed away 7 years ago from cancer. Soon after, George returned to England, Phillip however chose to remain in America.

Phillip worked hard as a teenager and young man. He wanted very much to make his father proud, but knew that he didn't want to go into the military. He worked hard as a part time carpenter from the young age of 14 in order to save up enough money to put himself through college, where he got a degree in criminology. He eventually became Sheriff of a small town when he was 25 years old. He held this position for ten years until he was 35. He quit after a case he was working got out of hand and a bitter drug dealer who he had tried to put away broke into his house and shot his wife, Angela. This devastated Phillip and he quit his job as Sheriff soon after.

Phillip has met Angela in his last year of college, and, although their relationship wasn't perfect, he knew that he wanted to marry her. They had married about a year after Phillip became Sheriff and enjoyed a more-or-less happy marriage until the time when Angela was murdered. After her death Phillip quit his job and soon after left town. He wandered around the country for a while. He eventually met and became friends with an undertaker who taught him the tricks of the trade. Deciding it is time to start a new life, Phillip has moved to Greenvale to set up the Calaway Funeral Home. He believe that a fresh start in a small town with his own little business is exactly what he needs. He lives in a small apartment above the Funeral home.

ROLE-PLAY SAMPLE:
Phillip Calaway wandered into his small kitchen, it was 1AM and sleep was eluding him yet again. He crossed over to the fridge and opened it, taking out a bottle of beer. "Thank you" he mumbled as he closed the fridge door. He sat down at the small table, facing the fridge and opened his bottle of beer. He took a long drink and then set the bottle down. "I can't sleep again" He said, looking at the fridge. The fridge of course, did not reply.

Phillip took another long drink from his beer and then yawned. "Maybe its living above a funeral home" he murmured. He thought about this for a moment and then he addressed the fridge once more " You've got to admit, sometimes it does have a very creepy feel to it...don't you think?...Yeah I thought so" Phillip took another drink from the bottle and then said "See you later". With that he stood up and exited back into his bedroom. He crossed to the window and opened it. Looking out he could see nobody. No cars, no people, not even a dog. And yet, despite this fact, Phillip felt like something was moving outside. "Its strange" he said aloud, to nobody in particular. "A small town as nice as this can still seem so creepy after dark"

[Mister Stewart]

I've talked it over with my co-mod, and I'm afraid we can't quite accept this application as it stands. If you would like, however, I can provide you with critique and you can rework the character a bit. If so, let me know if you would like the critique PMed to you or posted here.

I hope you understand. ^^' Thank you for applying, though!

[jamiebydesign]

I would appareciate it greatly if you could offer me some critique so I can re-work my application. If you post it onto the forum I will be sure to re-edit my application and hopefully it will be better suited to the role play.

[Mister Stewart]

All right. =) I would like to preface this by saying that I am not trying to be harsh or hurtful in any way. I just have to do the Mod Thing and be all frank.

The main points where I'm taking issue -

Occupation and Skills: ...I read this as Undertaker/Sheriff/Detective. It kind of feels like you didn't want to commit to him only having one job, even if that isn't how you meant it. One big thing I singled in on right away...you kind of...don't just...decide to become an Undertaker. There's a lot of schooling involved, and according to your history, he became one in less than two years. To be a practicing undertaker there's a minimum requirement of two years of formal schooling, then apprenticeship, followed by exams. Apprenticeships may take from 1-3 years.

In short, I...think the job needs a bit more focus. It's pushing it a bit to be both a Sheriff and then an Undertaker, given the time you have to spend doing both, and it sort of feels more like a convenience to have an undertaker with firearms experience and excellent detective skills. That may not be what you meant, but that's how it reads to us.

Personality: Again...a little unfocused. He's nice, but stubborn, but friendly, but judgmental? We don't see a whole lot of depth here. What does he like? Dislike? Fears? One quirk does not a character make, and that's most of what we're seeing. I'm sure you have a character in mind - tell us who he is! How did his history shape his personality?

History: Not bad, necessarily, but again, it ties in with the job confusion. All this heavy study into criminology and then he just meets an undertaker buddy who tells him how? You need to sort out what profession you want him in, then go from there. The elements are fine, it just doesn't quite hash as a whole.



If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. =) I would like to work with you on this so you can join!

[jamiebydesign]

Okay then, this is a re-done application for my character, taking into account your criticisms as well as re-touching some elements of the character I wasn't happy with myself. Just let me know if there's any other problems with it, or if you want a new role-play sample. Thanks.

NAME: Phillip Callaway

AGE: 34

GENDER: Male

PLACE OF RESIDENCE: Private Residence – Callaway Funeral Home

TYPE OF CAR: A black Peugeot 406. Licence Plate: UNDRTKR

OCCUPATION/SKILLS: Phillip is an undertaker by trade, having worked in his uncle’s funeral home until recently when he decided to set up his own funereal business. He has an interest in criminology but has no formal training in that area. He also has a interest in writing and has, on several occasions during his spare time begun work on various novels, although he never seems to finish them.

APPEARANCE: Phillip stands 6ft 7inches tall and is fairly well built. He has brown eyes and shoulder-length dark brown hair. During working hours he is usually always in a black, formal suit.

PERSONALITY: Phillip likes to keep his work life as separate from his personal life as possible. He often says that if he didn’t he would go crazy. He is very professional about his job and treats his clients with respect. Outside of work he is nice and friendly to the people he meets, although some do not get his sometimes morbid sense of humour. He is interested in criminology and often watches “true crime” shows on TV or reads “true crime” books. He has tried to write a book himself on several occasions but always gets bored about half way through. His only response when asked why is that he “knows how it ends already, therefore it can’t hold my interest. I need a story that can surprise me”. He also has an interest in horror movies and can usually answer any question put to him about horror movies. One strange trait about Phillip’s personality is his tendency to talk to inanimate objects; he will sometimes have whole conversations with objects, usually to debate an idea he might have or to keep himself company when he is feeling lonely. Phillip also suffers from recurring nightmares.

HISTORY: Born to George and Mary Callaway in Nottingham England he is an only child. The family moved to America when Phillip was 8 years old. His father served in the military and was a very powerful figure in Phillip's life. He would punish his son quite harshly when he broke one of his strict rules. Phillip has grown up to respect his father, but he is also more than a little resentful of his father's un-loving demeanour. His mother, Mary was the exact opposite. A quite, shy little woman, she was a florist for most of her life. She passed away 7 years ago from cancer. Soon after, George returned to England, Phillip however chose to remain in America.
Phillip worked hard growing up and always tried to make his father proud of him. However friction was inevitable as George wanted his son to go into the military like he had, something which Phillip had no interest in doing. Phillip worked hard in all his subjects at school but none of them truly interested him. He tried his hand at writing some short stories and decided that he would like to be a writer, an idea his father was not happy with. Phillip did get on well with his mother’s brother however, his Uncle Jeff Hyde who was an Undertaker. Knowing that he would need a career to fall back on in case his writing didn’t work out (which it hasn’t thus far) he began studying to become an Undertaker and worked in his Uncle’s funeral home.
Phillip met a girl named Angela Hereford whilst he was training to be an undertaker. After a couple of uneasy dates the two discovered that they really liked one another. The two remained together and eventually got married. The two had a mostly happy marriage; unfortunately it came to an abrupt end two years ago when Angela was killed in a car crash. This devastated Phillip but his uncle (who has become like a second father for Phillip) helped him through it. About a month and a half ago, after serious discussions he and his uncle decided that it was best for Phillip, now aged 34 to move away and start his own business, after several weeks of searching he found a property in Greenvale that was good value. He lives in a small apartment above the funeral parlour. He feels that a fresh start will help him move on from the grief of his wife’s death and help him start life afresh.

ROLE-PLAY SAMPLE: Phillip Callaway wandered into his small kitchen, it was 1AM and sleep was eluding him yet again. He crossed over to the fridge and opened it, taking out a bottle of beer. "Thank you" he mumbled as he closed the fridge door. He sat down at the small table, facing the fridge and opened his bottle of beer. He took a long drink and then set the bottle down. "I can't sleep again" He said, looking at the fridge. The fridge of course, did not reply.

Phillip took another long drink from his beer and then yawned. "Maybe its living above a funeral home" he murmured. He thought about this for a moment and then he addressed the fridge once more " You've got to admit, sometimes it does have a very creepy feel to it...don't you think?...Yeah I thought so" Phillip took another drink from the bottle and then said "See you later". With that he stood up and exited back into his bedroom. He crossed to the window and opened it. Looking out he could see nobody. No cars, no people, not even a dog. And yet, despite this fact, Phillip felt like something was moving outside. "Its strange" he said aloud, to nobody in particular. "A small town as nice as this can still seem so creepy after dark"

[Mister Stewart]

...I swear I'm not trying to be difficult. ^^' I've done a lot of talking and waffling over this one.

I'm not trying to pick at you too much, but I'm still seeing somewhat scattered focus in the occupations and skills. You've...gone from being Undertaker/Sheriff/Detective to Undertaker/Novice Criminologist/Writer. My advice would be...just to pick two of those. That would promote focus for your character.

If you do this, then I think the rest of it will be okay to let you in. =) Sorry for the delays. I've had a lot of work lately.

[jamiebydesign]

Would it be okay to have him as an undertaker who attempts some writing in his spare time? If not then I'm happy for him to just be an undertaker

[Mister Stewart]

That would be fine. =) Just go on and shift that around in your app and you'll be good to go!

[Emily Wyatt]

Yay!

[jamiebydesign]

Okay, sorry it took me so long to do this, I've just gone back to University and have been swamped with work.

This is essentially the same application as before but I've taken out the bits about criminology so that now he is a full-time undertaker who likes to try some writing in his spare time as a hobby.


NAME: Phillip Callaway

AGE: 34

GENDER: Male

PLACE OF RESIDENCE: Private Residence – Callaway Funeral Home

TYPE OF CAR: A black Peugeot 406. Licence Plate: UNDRTKR

OCCUPATION/SKILLS: Phillip is an undertaker by trade, having worked in his uncle’s funeral home until recently when he decided to set up his own funereal business. He also has a interest in writing and has, on several occasions during his spare time begun work on various novels, although he never seems to finish them.

APPEARANCE: Phillip stands 6ft 7inches tall and is fairly well built. He has brown eyes and shoulder-length dark brown hair. During working hours he is usually always in a black, formal suit.

PERSONALITY: Phillip likes to keep his work life as separate from his personal life as possible. He often says that if he didn’t he would go crazy. He is very professional about his job and treats his clients with respect. Outside of work he is nice and friendly to the people he meets, although some do not get his sometimes morbid sense of humour. He has tried to write a book himself on several occasions but always gets bored about half way through. His only response when asked why is that he “knows how it ends already, therefore it can’t hold my interest. I need a story that can surprise me”. He also has an interest in horror movies and can usually answer any question put to him about horror movies. One strange trait about Phillip’s personality is his tendency to talk to inanimate objects; he will sometimes have whole conversations with objects, usually to debate an idea he might have or to keep himself company when he is feeling lonely. Phillip also suffers from recurring nightmares.

HISTORY: Born to George and Mary Callaway in Nottingham England he is an only child. The family moved to America when Phillip was 8 years old. His father served in the military and was a very powerful figure in Phillip's life. He would punish his son quite harshly when he broke one of his strict rules. Phillip has grown up to respect his father, but he is also more than a little resentful of his father's un-loving demeanour. His mother, Mary was the exact opposite. A quite, shy little woman, she was a florist for most of her life. She passed away 7 years ago from cancer. Soon after, George returned to England, Phillip however chose to remain in America.
Phillip worked hard growing up and always tried to make his father proud of him. However friction was inevitable as George wanted his son to go into the military like he had, something which Phillip had no interest in doing. Phillip worked hard in all his subjects at school but none of them truly interested him. He tried his hand at writing some short stories and decided that he would like to be a writer, an idea his father was not happy with. Phillip did get on well with his mother’s brother however, his Uncle Jeff Hyde who was an Undertaker. Knowing that he would need a career to fall back on in case his writing didn’t work out (which it hasn’t thus far) he began studying to become an Undertaker and worked in his Uncle’s funeral home.
Phillip met a girl named Angela Hereford whilst he was training to be an undertaker. After a couple of uneasy dates the two discovered that they really liked one another. The two remained together and eventually got married. The two had a mostly happy marriage; unfortunately it came to an abrupt end two years ago when Angela was killed in a car crash. This devastated Phillip but his uncle (who has become like a second father for Phillip) helped him through it. About a month and a half ago, after serious discussions he and his uncle decided that it was best for Phillip, now aged 34 to move away and start his own business, after several weeks of searching he found a property in Greenvale that was good value. He lives in a small apartment above the funeral parlour. He feels that a fresh start will help him move on from the grief of his wife’s death and help him start life afresh.

ROLE-PLAY SAMPLE: Phillip Callaway wandered into his small kitchen, it was 1AM and sleep was eluding him yet again. He crossed over to the fridge and opened it, taking out a bottle of beer. "Thank you" he mumbled as he closed the fridge door. He sat down at the small table, facing the fridge and opened his bottle of beer. He took a long drink and then set the bottle down. "I can't sleep again" He said, looking at the fridge. The fridge of course, did not reply.

Phillip took another long drink from his beer and then yawned. "Maybe its living above a funeral home" he murmured. He thought about this for a moment and then he addressed the fridge once more " You've got to admit, sometimes it does have a very creepy feel to it...don't you think?...Yeah I thought so" Phillip took another drink from the bottle and then said "See you later". With that he stood up and exited back into his bedroom. He crossed to the window and opened it. Looking out he could see nobody. No cars, no people, not even a dog. And yet, despite this fact, Phillip felt like something was moving outside. "Its strange" he said aloud, to nobody in particular. "A small town as nice as this can still seem so creepy after dark"

[Mister Stewart]

That's all I asked for. =) Thanks!

ACCEPTED. Go on and set up your Greenweb threads and character tracker. Welcome aboard!